men like guns
for the same reason
they like cars bikes
skateboards legos
buildings computers
indie music or internet memes
guns can be broken apart
infinitely retooled
constantly made bigger
better more expensive
a gun is a task project hobby
studied vanquished conquered
all men need a project
manhood is the product
of obsession
there is no collective
accepted obvious voyage
men must pick
a hobby and learn
everything there is to know
it’s the reason men
defend Woody Allen
it’s why there’s a dude
at the noise show who scoffs
when someone says
they listen to Merzbow
it’s why people are afraid
to enjoy Infinite Jest or Lolita
or Blood Meridian or whatever
because they’re afraid
they might look like that guy
a gun is the same as reading
Deleuze & Guattari in public
except it’s sometimes used by cops
and soldiers and dictators
and right wing dads
and far left revolutionaries
and sometimes children against children
to extract blood from the bodies
of people who instead got obsessed
with table top roleplaying games for instance
a gun is a tonka truck for adults
a gun is a great second obsession
for the man who didn’t become
a hero of his first obsession
sure he’s gone to comic-con
every year since 2005
but that doesn’t make money
and the attendees are getting younger
their costumes are unrelatable
why would anyone want to pretend
to be an intergalactic vigilante
when they could be the real thing or
at least own the thing that makes it real
a bullet is basically an earth laser
he could imagine anyone’s face
on those paper targets
a child actor turned director
the host of a mid tier podcast
any scumbag 22 year old
by the concessions
all the anime e girls flock to
no he doesn’t understand what or why
or how their whole thing works
it’s just the obviousness with which
they see him as a non prospect
he just wants to be desired
a gun is a distraction a fantasy
a way to hold the potential for death
and still fiddle with cosmetic modifications
magwells night sights trigger connectors
handle grip inlays plastic wood grain pearl
a gun is a sport about death
men never have to play
it’s protection from an opponent
they never have to face because
they’ve always got their gun
and no one fucks with an armed man
Graham Irvin lives in Philadelphia. His writing can be found at Hobart, HAD, Apocalypse Confidential, Joyland, The Nervous Breakdown, and/or Misery Tourism. His book Liver Mush is available at http://flatdogdistro.bigcartel.com.
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