Making piña coladas for your close friends
Halfway through cutting into the pineapple the resistance became too much. Yeah. The knife was stuck. And when I tried to pull back the whole fruit came up with the knife. I waved this knife-pineapple before my eyes in wonder.
Then I slammed it down to the surface and the blade cut deeper – there was a wet ripping sound. I slammed it down a second time, and the two halves of the pineapple lolled apart unequally and golden. There was the smell. The wetness of the knife. The reveal of good stuff well-earned. And the dissatisfaction of a good struggle concluded.
I offer Baby Hughie an Easy Peeler tangerine
He stares at it with intrigue, then astonishment, then dismay. He chews the knuckle of his index finger and shakes his head. He picks it up with both hands and feels its cold skin against his tiny upper lip. He looks at me. Yep. There it is. Cold and orange, straight from the fridge.
Noticing that I’m peeling mine, he begins to peel his. It’s not easy though, and his breathing becomes very heavy. Globules of juice form where his little fingernails have penetrated the pith. He sniffs. He opens and closes his mouth as if rehearsing the act of eating. He’s building a pile of dimpled orange skin scraps while I, as an expert in easy peelers, have removed the skin in an unbroken spiral.
I split the naked fruit in two, easily, and he cannot believe it. It’s so easy. Life is so easy. I peel one segment away and shake it around like a little trophy. Now Hughie is tapping his forehead quite hard, and blinking. He’s scared. I place the segment of orange onto my tongue. Hughie is vibrating with fear. I rescind the segment into my mouth. Then I close my mouth. Then I chew.
John writes from England, and he just finished this novel. Extracts have appeared in Lighthouse and Perverse. In 2019 zimZalla published a book of his. He also runs a journal called Tar Press, publishing new fiction onto Twitter. Their archive features, among others, Amit Chaudhuri and Julianne Pachico.
His personal Twitter may be currently suspended. Usually it’s @henry_johns. Tar Press is @tar_press
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