crying before i’m up in the morning.
driving through the front doors of Costco.
eating every meal at Costco.
69 cent soda upon my 1.29 pizza.
only thing to peel my lips off the chrome behind the car.
thinking about every other October.
every moment already belongs to a moment that once was.
i watch Rob Zombie movies every day
and he only has, like, 5.
i get scared i’ll be mania and sobriety and sexlessness forever.
i get scared i’ve got to do this for 50 more years.
i get scared my mother is going to die like how all the dogs have died.
i write that same thought constantly in these poems because it’s
one of the only ones that linger when i’m fried.
and how all of the people do it. they die.
i call out of work to stand by the water and purgatory myself
for not having the guts to drink all of it.
i’m here only because i was,
because i’ve been.
Cash Compson’s first book of poems, People Scare Me, will be published by House of Vlad Press in February. Follow him on Twitter (@cashcompson) or IG (@cashofcompson) or come find him in the northeast.
Back Patio Press 