Cartoon Suicides Pt. 1
you can kill yourself while dreaming. i mean it’s socially acceptable and you can do it in a much more entertaining and lighter way than out here. you could clone yourself no problem, into a samurai. you’re kneeling say. the other you is on some yojimbo shit and flies through the air, slicing your head clean off. samurai champloo style, no cap. headless corpse now. your noggin rolls around in the warm grass. the sun god opens a fat mouth and swallows the strange warmth of dreamlike delusion. all I mean to say is that when your therapist gives you some ‘tools’ they won’t mention this neat little trick.
Cartoon Suicides Pt. 2
monday, regent street, 5.36pm. a lorry is speeding towards me. i cross the road anyway. halfway or so, i trust my timing and close my eyes. my legs still moving. i imagine perishing. seconds later i open my eyes; i am still here. does this mean something, must it mean something. i’ve had a right week and toying with death takes the weight off. there are moments when i wish i could overcome my instinct for survival. those times we’d rather be dead than stuck. i close my eyes and I’m chainsawed to death by a masked man. the only bad dream is waking up. the only threat is monday morning.
Cartoon Suicides Pt. 16
later, I’ll stand by the disaster sign. melt tabloid filth. succumb to a glorious chartreuse. pills for the delicate. this fuck-me reality. wake to muck. dream in Gatsby and wake to bedlam and pathetic coffee and pathetic living. notice how if you write it the French way, pathétique, self-pity is suddenly an art form.
Aqeel Parvez runs a podcast / press / events called MALNOURISHED INTELLECT & Poets Talking Bollocks. Check his IG: @ap.writer
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