Possible Band Names For When You Finally Decide To Start One by Charles John March III

     Like many, I fantasize about starting a band at some point, but I don’t think that I’d be able to commit to just one—so my dream is to join a group of like-minded individuals who see themselves going out on tours under rotating monikers for every leg of the way, under relevant, and sometimes, seasonal circumstances. 

     Around my 31st birthday this last July, I began compiling a list of names that I found meaning in (one for every year I’ve had to endure), which would synchronistically come to mind periodically…

1. Mr. Imagination & the Figments
2. Asthma Attack & the Seasons
3. Captain Spontaneous & the Fasciculations, with supporting act: 
4. Charlie Horse & the Bursae Sacs
5. Kingpin & the Strikeouts
6. Engineer Girl & the Glass Ceilings, with special guest(s): 
7. Minority Man & the Slit Wrists
8. Electric Slide & the Power Plant Survivors 
9. Rabblerouser & the Rubble Warriors
10. The Good Leg & the Fits
11. Amputated Arm & the Darth Prosthetics
12. Ms. Lunesta & the Eye Blots
13. Dead of Night & the Graveyard Shifts
14. Dick Broderick & the Off Dayz
15. Dime Bag & the Ides
16. March Madness & the Bewares 
17. Ohana Mamas & the Dust Ups 
18. Lake Shore Drive & the Trip Moms
19. Michelob Socialite & the Purebred Celiac Diseased Bleacher Screechers 
20. Bleachy Clean & the Peachy Keens 
21. Uncle Johnny & the Embassy Sweets
22. Chiraq & da Bomb Beef Sandwiches
23. Last Loaf Piece & the End’s Meat, with accompanying act: 
24. Home Slice & the Bologna Boys 
25. Trailer Hitch & the Gas-N-Sip Jesus
26. Especial Negro y the Cervezas
27. Diaphoretic Christmas Sweater & the Feel Betters
28. Gorilla Christ & the Silverback Saints 
29. Fluorescent Flood Lamp & the Black Magic Muslims
30. Jim Crow & the Cowgirls
31. Mr. Bluebird & the Sun Basking Robins

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Charles J. March III will never graduate from The Iowa Writers’ Workshop. He has a feather in his cap, but doesn’t have a PEN. He has (surprisingly) a roof over his head, but has never been in residence. He sometimes socializes, but has never had a fellowship. He knows a guy named Grant, but has never received one. He’s been called a MF, and an A, but doesn’t have a MFA. He professes to be (or not to be) these things, but he’s not a professor. He never says never. Less can be found at LinkedIn & SoundCloud.