“it’s the christmas of killing yourself” by Eli Sahm

& i’m the michael jordan of shooting 
james bond in the stomach a dozen times
you can’t even handle a pork hammer sandwich
we didn’t come to america for the christmas 
brisket that drips off the bone like spoiled ice cream
because i’m the winnie-the-pooh of eating pussy
you’re the annie oakley of watching me eat pussy
you’re the harriet tubman of doing heroin 

at the movies we come apart like a crowd 
at sunset gunshots on the cape fear river
i’m the 420 of not breathing 
my dad is the eric harris of transforming
kids into video games 
your dad killed himself for christmas 
because he couldn’t handle depression
but we didn’t come here for the freedom
the price of donuts is death
i’ve become the picasso of crashing 
into concrete bridge abutments 
you’re the marilyn monroe of being unable 
to fuck yourself out of a wet paper bag
but we didn’t come here for the fresh air 
or the library that smells like blood from all the blood 
i’m the mick jagger of child murder
you’re the da vinci of having a skull 
made of water we get along like a structure fire
our x-rays show teeth in the lungs
i’m the albert einstein of imagining 
columbine & i’m the columbine 
of watching videos of 9/11 at breakfast
you’re the sojourner truth of punching 
your mom in the stomach hungover
but we have to make an effort in america
an effort to understand how to kill more people 
it’s not all christmas & cookies 
so i’m the paris of pancreatic cancer 
you’re the oprah of having sex about the holocaust
we came here to make your head sound wet 
to pack every vending machine with violence
i’m the jesus christ of letting myself kill myself 
you’re the joan-of-arc of having a dad 
who killed himself because he had full blown AIDS 
i’m the tesla of inventing new ways to kill myself 
you’re the pocahontas of loving your dad 
even though he killed himself when he ran out of smack
i’m the malcom x of killing myself cool 
you’re the moses of not enjoying 
that your dad killed himself because he was an alcoholic 
i’m the genghis khan of killing & eating every single one of myself
i’m the king kong of killing myself big 
i’m the muhammad ali of killing myself the greatest 
i’m the indiana jones of putting my killing myself in a musuem [of killing myself]
i’m the sacagawea of guiding myself to killing myself 
i’m the moby dick of killing myself white 
i’m the johnny appleseed of spreading killing myself everywhere
i’m the google of every person on earth killing myself
i’m the jesus christ of telling god to let me kill myself 
i’m the girl who killed herself to find out if she was jesus christ
you’re the guy who killed himself & everyone forgot

 Eli Sahm lives in Mackinaw City. He digs holes for a living. His favorite food is donuts (crullers).

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