A Couple of Quickies by Corey Lof

Wilts

Wilts saw the ocean for the first time when he was twenty-six. Thank you, he said. We were on the Oregon coast where a waterfall was coming off the cliffs, landing on the beach and running through a spiderweb of trenches to the shoreline. The sun had set and what was left of the light had turned the waterfall, and everything really, the rocks, the sand, us, the ocean, translucent and purple. Thank you, thank you, he said, breathing like he wasn’t sure he would ever get to do it again. I half expected to turn around and find him facedown making angel shapes in the sand, like he was talking to God, or the earth or something. I hoped he wasn’t talking to me. I wanted to be with Teo, riding around on Aprhi’s shoulders in the shallow, taking selfies. I didn’t want to be credited with whatever Wilts was experiencing. I ignored him, but he kept saying it. Thank you. Thank you for bringing me here. He was never going to last. It was always like this with Wilts, we’d be doing something normal, like getting gas or watching an ambulance tend to a car wreck, and Wilts would experience some profound depressive episode. It was nothing to be jealous of, but there I was. I wanted to push him over into the sand, fill his mouth with it. 

Man, thank yourself, I said. You pitched on gas too. 

Side of the Road Somewhere 

Two AM, shady back corner, some Seattle parking lot, this couple walks by, guy with lines shaved in the side of his head, parachute sleeves of a bomber jacket shining like paranoid tinfoil in the streetlight, screaming, You fucking slut, you fucking bitch, keep walking I kill you! His sleazy, weasel-y voice stacking up between the red brick, making like a peacock, house of cards, while the chick stays a couple strides ahead taking prissy, poodle steps in heels and a dress, into a darkness, a darker darkness, shade, a shadow, off the main road onto a side road, into an alley, while the guy keeps slogging after her, You bitch, you slut! Until she stops dead in front of some shoehorn sports car, a red Lamborghini or something gross like that, Waya think you’re gunna do? she says, hands fiddling in a disco ball purse and face like she might just pull something. I’ll leave ya a smear on the concrete, guy says, palms out glistening, like he’s expecting something, like they’ve done this a million times. I show ya how ta be nothing, he says, but the chick just pulls a set of keys, glittering the same as the purse, and drops ‘em in the guy’s hand, like of course this is how its gunna go, then tippy-toes around to the passenger side and they both somehow manage the car’s guillotine doors, and the thing starts up like a space craft and whips out the alleyway and I’m there begging, pleading, needing, just flip the thing, man. Hit a pole. Show me what a dead arm looks like hanging from a smashed-out window. Give me something.


Corey dreams of financial security and total ownership over his time, but instead of realizing those dreams he writes fiction, lives with animals, and is about to have a child. You can find some of his stories through his twitter @coreylofsatwit. But those publications are few. 

Miss Amtrak by Audrey Lee

I’m reading Blood and Guts in High School by Kathy Acker.

When the train comes to a stop in Elkhart, Indiana I’m on page 18. The child prostitute narrator is describing her vagina as beef. I’m tough, rotted, putrid beef. Kathy Acker’s writing is really gross and I check Twitter in between pages to read some more normal material, like about this rapper who is trending because he called his baby mama “Miss Amtrak.” Things could be worse, I think as I watch an Amish family with their toddler son board the packed train. I could be taking Amtrak to get fucked. That would be desperate and slutty.

I watch the Amish family putter up and down the aisle with their toddler son. When the train jostles as it picks up speed they lose their balance and fall into each other. They look like lost kittens, pathetic and helpless in their dour clothes. They look as dumb as their drooling toddler son.

Fuck, I think. The seat next to me is empty. The aisle seats in front of me are open. They’re gonna sit the kid next to me.

I turn my attention back to Blood and Guts in High School while the Amish toddler crawls clumsily into the seat next to me. I feel his blank, baby eyes staring at me while his parents stumble over themselves to put their bags away. Thank God this kid can’t read, I think, and turn to page 19.

Kathy Acker included illustrations in Blood and Guts in High School. The back cover describes the book as a “controversial, transgressive, work of philosophical, political, and sexual insight,” and that “the text is illustrated with intricate sketches.” Page 19 is a full-page drawing of a hairy vagina. The words MY CUNT RED UGH are printed where the asshole would be. I’m slow to register what I’m looking at until I realize that the Amish toddler is looking at it too.


Audrey Lee wrote the chapbooks Disjecta Membra (Bottlecap Press, 2022) and Probably, Angels (Maverick Duck Press, 2020). She lives in South Philadelphia and is so normal on Twitter @postpunkpoet and at www.audreymorganlee.com

“Here’s a Little Prayer” by Troy James Weaver

When she wakes up, she immediately recalls the last bib she threw to the Goodwill, the last piece of fabric that remained. She’d already been done with the shoes, the little shirts, the pants and the onesies.

Her eyes well as she fingers the rope, her bed companion she spoons in sleep.

The zoo is always empty when she goes, which she likes. She can push through and really get what she wants. She doesn’t go to see the animals. She goes to feel less alone. And the animals always provide, even if she doesn’t see them. Just knowing they are there and always will be. Seeing the changes in the exhibits, the color gradients, the incline of a path, however jarring and resistant, is welcome. The surprising in the ordinary, in the known. Routine. The unknown is a burden girdled to prayer.

The last time she prayed was the day she buried her son. She prayed for the impossible. Then waited. But it wasn’t hers. That prayer belonged to the earth.

When the rope tickles her palms in her sleep, she sees, so clear and possible, what she thinks she needs, what she wants, in dreams, then wakes up and moves into the heat of a new day, forgetting.

She’s a haunted house, who lies about her occupants.

“I hope the last prayer I hear is the sound of the branch breaking,” she says.

Minutes pass watching the ceiling fan circle.


Troy James Weaver lives in Wichita, Kansas. He is normal.

“Revised Syllabus As Personal Essay By A Former Zoom Teacher” — Andy Tran

Intro to Creative Writing

Summer 2020
Monday-Thursday 1:30-3:30 PM

8/10-8/27

Mr. Andrew Tran

Welcome!

I’m thinking about railing a long white line off of my iPhone, and I’m also thinking about buying Ketamine with my future paycheck. Right now, I’m wearing a blue suit and staring at my computer screen,  my face is reflected back and it’s hard to look at myself. I’ve made PowerPoint slides with art from Banksy and Basquiat. I wonder if the kids are excited to learn about Ekphrastic poems.

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Mr. Tran Intro/Half Truths

My name is Mr. Tran. My favorite animal is a Siberian husky. My favorite food is steak. My favorite color is blue. If I could anywhere in the world, I would go to Alaska. I would love to have dinner with a jiggly puff!

###

It’s my second day as a Zoom creative writing teacher at a private school. I’ve never taught a class before and I don’t have a degree in education. I don’t have a teaching license, but I have worked with kids on two separate occasions. In Northern, VA, I taught kids at a summer Tennis camp based out of a country club. I’ve also been a support educator/helper at a Jewish Community Center. I know how to coach kids on serves and volleys, and I know how to change diapers. But I also know a few brief things about creative writing. 

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“Treblinka, 1942” by Stuart Buck

I was made in Pakistan in 1927. I came to Germany before Hitler had his hands around the throat of the country. But fascism is never far from the surface and even back then the seeds were spouting thick black stems, choking the air. I arrived in a leather satchel, brown, used and dirty. A man had bought me from a sports shop in Pakistan while visiting a friend and had traveled back to Germany by steamer. 

Like many Germans, the family eventually succumbed to the Nazi party and in time my owner became the Gauleiter for Dusseldorf. I saw little action, being taken out on windless days then replaced and forgotten. When the Fuhrer himself visited Dusseldorf, he was so impressed with my owners running of the local branch of the Nazi party that he asked his aide to invite him to help run Treblinka concentration camp in Poland. Not wanting to leave his family behind, he broke the news to them over spaetzle. 

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A Smallie by Richie Johnson

I said, “lets give Cowboy a saucer of milk.”

She said, “no one says saucer anymore.”

She was right. No one says saucer anymore. I began wandering what exactly a saucer was.

She said, “You’re not supposed to give cats milk anymore.”

That made less sense to me. “So you once could give cats milk, but now you can’t?”

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“Taxidermy for Dummies” by Charlie Chitty

Zack pulled on the balaclava and climbed over the porch. The balaclava he’d bought secondhand from a guy on Craigslist who said he used to use it as a make-shift gimp mask. 

Every few minutes, he’d catch a whiff of something raw and potent and retch for a solid ten seconds.

“You could have just fucking washed it first.” said Paul. His pumpkin mask from three Halloweens ago bobbed on his face.

Zack flipped him off and grabbed the window frame as Paul clambered gracelessly over the porch and fell on his ass. Zack ducked under the window as Paul scrambled to his feet. 

There was a scraping as the old woman inside pulled open the window and Zack saw the barrel of a shotgun poking just above his head.

Paul stumbled, climbed back over the porch and fled. Zack, feeling his pulse begin to race, grabbed the barrel and yanked the gun.

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“Another Monday in March” by Jacob Hendricks

When I get to work I leave my guts on the curb. I won’t need them inside. So I scoop them out like ice cream and pile them up next to the others. They’re all pretty similar. Some are darker. Some emptier. I notice mine are heavy and fragrant. I can’t place the stench. But it reminds me of ground beef and sour cream. 

When I leave work I find my guts where I left them. A few crows were just about to start chowing down. I caught one in the belly with the heel of my boot. Then I stuff my guts back in the best I can. I feel better already. There’s sunlight for the first time this year. The vitamin D from the light turns my blood into wine. It’s been too long. I start sweating. Quickly soak through. I fumble taking my coat off and almost trip crossing the street. Catch myself against a bench. An old woman walking a cat laughs at my reaction. I nod knowing it’s deserved. I thank her. I thank her cat. Both of them still cackling as I slip down the street. 

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“Blades of Glass” by Calvin Westra

1.) His brother was shot by the police while trying to break into his own house, drunk, very late at night, using a hammer he had found in his shed. The shed had not been locked and he had looked around in the dark for something blunt and heavy and settled on a small hammer which he then used to crack the glass and pry the shards free of the window. When the police arrived and shouted at him, he threw pieces of glass at them while they told him to drop the glass, the hammer. He was shot several times. He was awarded a settlement. He uses a wheelchair.

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Three selections from More Animist Babble (in manuscript) by Bram Riddlebarger

Leash

The leash of red foxes scampered from the community garden and crossed the paved bike path into the low-hanging forsythia along the riverbank. The foxes didn’t even notice the stag beetle making its way to the garden across the blacktopped path, but the last fox had upended the beetle, which now lay on its back looking into the heavens.

The beetle treaded air and screamed into the void, “INSECURITY PROBLEMS????”

Biggie

The worm crawled through the earth and the darkness and the disgusting grubs that sometimes got in its way on their own beautiful way to flight and broke through into the light of day.

The worm was listening to Biggie.

“Fuck,” said the worm. “I’ve made all the wrong friends.”

Continue reading “Three selections from More Animist Babble (in manuscript) by Bram Riddlebarger”